The Paradox of Modern Marriage: Love, Display, and the Fragility of Commitment

Look around, and you will see a paradox playing out in the way we approach relationships and marriage today. On one hand, commitment feels weaker than ever—separations are rising, relationships strain under the weight of comparison, and the idea of lifelong bonding seems more fragile. Yet, on the other hand, weddings have never been grander. The ceremonies are more extravagant, the celebrations more elaborate, and the expressions of love more performative.

Why is it that, in a time when marriage as an institution feels increasingly uncertain, people are investing more into making it look picture-perfect?

For Generation X and millennials, marriage was built on understanding, adaptability, and effort. Disagreements happened, issues arose, but the relationship itself was seen as a lifelong investment. There was an implicit acceptance that marriage came with challenges, and working through them was part of the deal.

Today, things are different. The digital age has altered our expectations. With an abundance of choices at our fingertips, there’s always something—or someone—new, exciting, and seemingly better. Social media has conditioned us to chase novelty, seek validation, and compare our lives to curated glimpses of happiness. Relationships now struggle against the constant urge to see if the grass is greener elsewhere.

It is not entirely the fault of the new generation. They have grown up in a world of speed and instant gratification. They belong to an era where patience is not a virtue but an inconvenience. Their reality is shaped by a world that rewards change, adaptability, and movement, making the idea of ‘forever’ feel unnatural.

If relationships are becoming so fragile, why are weddings becoming so extravagant?

I once assumed that, given the realities of modern relationships, people would start favoring cohabitation over marriage—choosing companionship without the weight of lifelong commitment. But surprisingly, what I see instead is a surge in lavish weddings, pre-wedding shoots, destination proposals, and post-wedding displays of love.

Is it because we desperately want to believe in forever, even when we know forever is uncertain?

Is it because the more fragile our relationships become, the more we feel the need to convince ourselves (and the world) of their strength?

Perhaps, marriage today is less about the relationship itself and more about the spectacle. A grand wedding, a viral proposal, an Insta-worthy honeymoon—it is as if the act of getting married is becoming more important than the act of staying married.

A Different Perspective: What If We Reversed the Trend?

Here is a thought—what if, instead of spending millions on a grand wedding, people invested that money into building a meaningful life together first?

Imagine if marriages were simple, intimate affairs, celebrated only with close family and friends. And then, once the relationship truly stood the test of time—maybe 20 or 25 years later—they could celebrate in a grand way, not just as a display of love but as a testament to what they have built together.

Wouldn’t that feel more authentic, more meaningful, more deserving of celebration?

Wouldn’t it reduce the social discomfort and stigma surrounding separation?

I am not against marriage, nor am I against love. But I do question why people spend so much on the beginning of a journey without investing enough in what comes after.

If lifelong commitment is a challenge, and if we acknowledge that relationships today come with inherent struggles, then shouldn’t we be redefining marriage itself instead of simply making it a big fat display of love that fades like a mirage?

Let’s Talk About It

This is not about dismissing the beauty of weddings. This is about questioning why we do what we do. Are we celebrating love, or are we celebrating the idea of love? Are we honoring commitment, or are we just caught up in the performance of it?

What do you think? Should we continue the tradition of extravagant weddings, or is it time to rethink how we approach marriage in today’s world? Let’s open the conversation.